CFB's Next 2000-Yard Rusher?
What does it take to become a premium IHOP member? Well, just ask this B1G head coach...
We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon.
- Carl, Fargo (1996)
You’ll never hear me complaining about more pancakes—the stat offensive linemen receive from knocking a defender flat on their back, that is. PJ Fleck — Known Degenerate Pig Farmer (KDPF) and lifetime IHOP premium member — is also known to enjoy a nice set of flapjacks on a crisp autumn afternoon. Talk to any IHOP employee within the Minneapolis area code and they’ll tell you “we love PJ, every time he orders he insists that we paint ‘Ski-U-Mah’ in maple syrup on his cakes—it goes hard as fuck”.
What I particularly like about Coach Fleck and the way he runs his football program is that he runs his RBs like he’s playing College Fantasy Football (CFF) and he’s the owner of their shares.
Former VP-All American Mo Ibrahim was on pace for a historic season in 2020, rushing for 1076 yards in only seven games (153 ypg). He was also averaging 28.7(!!) carries per game. That was the year that PJ officially received his KDPF license, which I hear he has framed on his office wall. My sources tell me he gets his mileage and then some out of his premium IHOP membership as well. Most people don’t know—the ‘P’ in PJ actually stands for pancakes (you’re welcome for the FYI). ‘Pancakes Jumbo’ was both his go-to IHOP special and his favourite play call—it consisted of the QB turning around and immediately handing Mo Ibrahim the football.
That’s why in 2021, I used my first round pick in multiple leagues on Mo. It was a good year for RBs. The big three as I saw it were Iowa State’s Breece Hall, Texas’ up-and-comer Bijan Robinson, and Minnesota’s sledgehammer— Mo Ibrahim. Things were off to a good start, the Gophers — behind the largest offensive line unit in the FBS — were bludgeoning Ohio State’s front seven in the Week One opener repeatedly and mercilessly. And when I say repeatedly and mercilessly, I mean in the manner that you see people wolfing down their double chocolate fudge or whatever the fuck pancakes at IHOP. It’s disgusting but glorious at the same time. The Gophers were moving weight around like an efficient liposuction procedure.
It was a Thursday night game in Minnesota— in fact, I remember it like it was yesterday. “This is going to be a good year” I said to myself, with a smug look on my face. Chuffed, I had the Fantrax app open, looking at the scores of my other players throughout the evening. Ball State’s Justin Hall put in a good shift. So did Buffalo’s Kevin Marks. Now it was time for Ibrahim to eat, and oh, was he ever eating. By the third quarter he already had 30 carries for 163 yards and two scores (over 30 points). I didn’t even look that stat line up (you’ll just have to trust me on this one). The numbers—they’ve been etched into my memory ever since, “what could have been” I say to myself each night after waking in a cold sweat.
Amidst the gallantry and rampant pig farming, I see a message pop up in my league’s group chat “I think Mo just tore his Achilles”. I saw Ibrahim had gone down—of course I was watching the game. I figured my competitor was just trolling. He’s also an Ohio State fan so I assumed his intelligence was low. But then Ibrahim didn’t get up. Then the broadcast cut to commercial. That’s when a nauseating feeling came over me. I took to the one place I knew I could find medical expertise weighing in on the injury—X, formerly known as Twitter, to see what people were saying.
Unfortunately, Ibrahim never returned to that game, which proved to be his first and last game played of that year. FUCK. Is what I said the next morning upon waking, the gravity of the situation finally hitting me. Though my concerns about my CFF team were alleviated the following evening when MSU’s Kenneth Walker rushed for four TDs and 264 yards. I lost my lead pig, but gained a surprise SOAP in the process.
Still, I felt terrible for Mo, as this was setting up to be truly a historic season for the Gopher runner. I actually ended up rostering his back up— Trey Potts, who filled in nicely for a few games before he himself went down with a mystery injury. I’ve never spent so much time on Gopher message boards (has anybody figured out what caused him to collapse randomly vs. Purdue? Genuinely curious).
There were still some CFF managers who sought to tap the well once more, rostering the RB3 in hopes that the pig farming antics would extend to said player. That proved not to be the case, however, as the Gophers began running a committee from that point onward. Evidently, even a KDPF has his limitations. Or maybe he just lost out on the waivers for his RB3 in his CFF leagues. I guess we’ll never know.
I made a mental note from that season: I like PJ Fleck, he is definitely a degenerate, but his RBs seem to have a knack for breaking often. Maybe it has something to do with handing them the ball 28+ times a game.
This past season, history appeared to be repeating itself. Star true freshman runner Darius Taylor broke out in game two vs. Eastern Michigan, rushing 33 times (lol) for 193 yards and one score. He also caught two passes. He’s actually known for being a skilled receiver, which raises his ceiling beyond even that of the former VP-All American Mo Ibrahim, who was an excellent sledgehammer but not a very well-rounded back.
Taylor would go on to play two more games, carrying the rock 22 and 31 times (atta boy PJ) before going down with his own injury—a hamstring if my memory serves correct. Taylor gave it a go on October 21st, rushing 16 times and catching three passes. He had a decent day, accumulating about 84 yards total (11 points), but would return to the sideline before finishing. He missed the rest of the regular season.
Now, had it not been for this Bowl performance, I probably would not be nearly as high on Taylor as I am. Playing against—albeit an inferior opponent—Taylor ran roughshod over BGSU in Minnesota’s Bowl Game. He finished the day with 35 carries (lol) for 208 yards and a score. He also caught two passes. Overall, he finished the year averaging 21.7 PPG. He also averaged 24.8 touches per game (23 carries) and over 100 yards rushing. Needless to say, he passed both of the SOAP conditions on the year with flying colours.
Darius Taylor — 5’11, 210
The former three star out of Detroit, MI was a coveted recruit coming out of high school. He held offers from Michigan, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Missouri, and Kansas, among others. He was rated as the 29th ranked RB in 247 Sports’ internal rankings, and the 23rd highest rated RB in the composite. None of that really matters now, however, as we saw Taylor prove his mettle last season in live action.
One of the things that concerns me the most about projecting Taylor’s profile for 2024 is that the sample size from a year ago is very limited. He had his best two games vs. Northwestern and Bowling Green. He also popped off vs. UNC and Eastern Michigan. That’s it as far as his good performances. Two out of those four are MAC opponents. The other two weren’t very good on defence. The one game where he didn’t produce at an elite level was on his return from injury vs. the Hawkeyes. Hard to say how much of his struggles were due to health vs. Iowa’s defence. Probably a combination of both.
With that in mind, I should also point out that Minnesota plays Penn State, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Michigan this upcoming season. That’s a tough group to run the football against. I trust PJ Fleck and Minnesota will find a way — someway, somehow — to establish the run (a leap of faith based on Fleck’s premium IHOP membership), but those games might not be exceptionally prolific for Taylor.
Houston, we have a problem—or do we?
It’s ironic that I’m writing this in the last week of February, as it was this time last year that I published an article about Sieh ‘Bang Man’ Bangura when he was still with Ohio University. Bangura, another runner who I rostered at one point, had become a favourite of mine in the 2022 season. Unfortunately, O’Shaan Allison’s return proved to be more detrimental than many had hoped for in 2023, and Bangura’s numbers consequently suffered.
Now, he is a Minnesota Gopher. Evidently, he saw former back-to-back 1000-yard MAC runner Sean Tyler transfer over last year and get absolutely shit on, and decided ‘yea, that’s what I want’. Jokes aside, Tyler’s problem was ball-security, which is an issue Bang Man doesn't really have, or at least didn’t in the MAC. He is not a back-to-back 1000-yard runner, but he did cross this threshold once (2022), and I can attest from watching a lot of Bobcat football in 2022 that he is a good looking tailback. He also catches passes with relative ease, and he’s a strong runner. A fairly durable body as well.
So is he going to be a problem for Taylor? Probably yes in the sense that his presence immediately limits Taylor’s ceiling. But does he limit it enough to overshadow Taylor’s star, I would think not. Minnesota could also run the football enough such that Taylor averages 25+ carries per game, and Bangura gets around 10. The Gophers lost a lot in their backfield this offseason due to players running out of eligibility (notably Sean Tyler and Bryce Williams), so they needed to at least replace some depth. That’s probably why they also brought in Marcus Major from OU.
One of the key determinants for me in ranking Mo Ibrahim ahead of Bijan Robinson in my 2021 rankings was the comparison of offensive lines. Not only were the Gophers returning a lot of snaps, they quite literally had the biggest offensive line by size that year—the commentators even said as much, and I always believe everything I hear on TV. This season, the Gophers return a hair under 80% of snaps from a year ago. So a heavy dosage of run plays à la IHOP Saturday specials seems like a likely outcome.
The Gophers also brought in transfer QB Max Brosmer, who rushed 56 times last year with New Hampshire. He scored five rushing TDs in 11 games. It’s never ideal when the QB is also involved in the run game. That’s another strike on Taylor’s profile.
Closing Thoughts
To find the last 2000-yard runner in CFB, you have to go back all the way to 2019, which is an absolute disgrace if you ask me. Ironically, there were four that year—perhaps something we should have seen coming given that it was officially ‘year of the pig’ according to the Chinese zodiac. One of those four runners was the QB at Navy, who toted the pig 295 times. The three bread-and-butter RBs carried the football 328, 301, and 320 times.
Note to the reader: a good test to assess whether you’re worthy of a premium IHOP membership is if you can name those three RBs off the top of the dome. I’ll even make it easier for you below:
It may interest you to know that I’ve sent personalized letters to all 134 FBS coaches urging them to bring back the days of 300+ carry tailbacks. I’ve also urged them to reserve a scholly or two for a fullback, and encouraged the use of recreational anabolic steroids. Unfortunately, most ignore my communications, a few have called the police.
Thankfully, a few brave souls accept the challenge and rise to the occasion. Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy is one of these great men. So is PJ Fleck. Brave men who stand for what is right for the game in a day and age of cowardice. Indeed, is there anything lamer than seeing a bunch of RBs with 150 or fewer carries at the end of the year? I think not. And hopefully, that isn’t the case this year for the Gophers. It would be a shame if I had to take PJ off of my ‘stuffed pig’ Christmas mailing list this year, which is a list of coaches I send pigs to every December (Gundy received two this year).
“Merry Christmas PJ, wishing Mo a smooth recovery” is what I included in a personalized note attached with the delivery to PJ’s residence in December of ‘21. He sent me a letter back “Thanks for the stuffed pig VP, but don’t kid yourself—we’re gonna ride Mo 25+ times again starting week one in ‘22. Merry Christmas”.
PJ doesn’t fuck around. It’s what CFF players like about him. That is why Darius Taylor should be viewed as a first round RB in this year’s drafts. Is his profile perfect? Absolutely not. Bangura will probably pose more of a threat than Tyler ever did. Even still, with the coaching staff in place here, the talent at RB, and the returning snaps at OL, Taylor very well could be a runner who is sniffing 2K yards by season’s end. Is it likely? No, but he should be an elite CFF asset nonetheless. Personally, as things currently stand, I have him rated behind only OGII and Ashton Jeanty for re-drafts.
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