The CFB Degenerate's Newsletter: It's Officially Spooky SZN 🐦‍⬛

The battlefield is a scene of constant chaos. The winner will be the one who controls that chaos, both his own and the enemies.

- Napoleon, former military officer

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Pigs, welcome back. As usual, here are some (hopefully) interesting stats to kick things off today:

ONE. Ryan Williams is currently number one in freshmen receiving yardage and number 12 overall in this category. For context, OSU’s Jeremiah Smith is 32nd in the nation.

THREE. There are currently three non-QB players who are averaging over 30 points per game in 1PPR formats, and those three players are BSU’s Ashton Jeanty, SJSU’s Nick Nash, and Pitt’s Desmond Reid. Let’s give it up for the Mountain West in what might be their last year as a fully intact conference. 👏

• There are also only three QBs who have 2000 or more passing yards currently: Ole Miss’ Jaxson Dart, Miami’s Cam Ward, and TCU’s Josh Hoover.

FIFTEEN. Nick Nash has 15 more targets than the next leading target getter, Tre Harris, despite playing one less game than him. Despite this difference in targets, Nash only has three more receptions than Harris.

SIX HUNDRED SEVENTY SIX. MAC daddy superstar and current BGSU TE Harold Fannin is currently fourth in receiving with 676 yards through five games.

LONDON HUMPHREYS. Yea, this is not a stat, I just included UGA WR London Humphreys’ name because you can imagine how he’s feeling watching his old team, Vandy, beat Alabama one week after his current team, UGA, lost to them.

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Now, onto the main course. There’s an Italian grocery store in my old neighbourhood on Toronto’s west side that I like going to. I particularly enjoy their Chocolate budinos (which is like a chocolate mousse thing) and also their pasta sauces. Unfortunately my wife can’t enjoy their bolognese sauce which is made with pork, but I had a good time consuming it late Saturday afternoon as I watched the pure anarchy that was transpiring across the SEC.

Not only was I enjoying my food and the football happening in front of me, my wife spent the weekend at her parents place so I had our condo all to myself as these upsets were happening. The atmosphere in the living room was positively jovial— a mix of cool jazz playing and Gary Danielson’s commentary—a match made in heaven if you ask me.

And in case you haven’t heard, there was some pretty big—even historic—upsets this past weekend. The headliner undoubtedly being Vanderbilt’s convincing win over Alabama. Yeah, that’s right, I used the word ‘convincing’ because it was. This was one of those times where you just have to stop what you’re doing and appreciate it like my man Lane Kiffin did. It’s quite possible that most of us will never see that happen again in our lifetimes, or least, maybe only once more.

Some major credit is due to the New Mexican gunslinger and his compadre, Tim Beck, also known as Vandy’s OC. It was refreshing actually, to watch a dog not lose composure throughout the game vs. a top team. Creativity on offence, matched with aggression when they were holding on for dear life towards the end, is not something you typically see when David finds themselves in the lead vs. Goliath.

Indeed, how many times have we seen this movie before: the underdog realizes what they’re about to do late in the game with a lead, freezes up, goes conservative, and then lets the opponent off the hook? Too many times if you ask me. Super frustrating as a neutral viewer. Just let your fucking nuts hang for christ’s sake. And, to my pleasant surprise, gunslinger Diego and Mr. Beck did just that on Saturday. 🤙

Now, I won’t claim to speak for an entire fanbase, but I do think what I’m about to describe is a uniquely UGA-fan experience. Constantly losing to an Alabama team that plays at 99 OVR (shoutout to the Madden/NCAA25 video gamers out there) every time the two teams meet, and then having to deal with the consequences of that loss despite knowing you have the better team is an annoyance that I don’t know if many other fanbases can relate to.

When the Tide had the Godfather, Nick Saban, one could rationalize to themselves this phenomenon of, well, Kirby just can’t overcome his mentor and I mean… it’s freaking Nick Saban; who out there in CFB is routinely beating him? It’s just shear dumb luck that UGA always found themselves in the line of fire.

But this year, one could be forgiven for thinking it might be different. And, who’s to say it isn’t different. Beating a good team, who’s fired up, with the most talented roster on the 247 Sports Composte, in their own home, is always hard, regardless of the rivalry.

So when I sat down to write this week’s article I thought about this deeply (okay, maybe more like 10 minutes during a shower, but whatever). Sure, there was an element of schadenfreude last Saturday amongst Dawg nation (how could there not be?) but there was also a quiet frustration. It’s the experience of knowing that Alabama emptied their clip the week before, as they always do, and served the Dawgs up another fat L, as they always do, and then showed up looking like shit against their opponent one week later and got absolutely manhandled (vs. Vandy!!). Fun fact: the last team to never trail in a game against Alabama was 2019 LSU. 2024 Vandy… 2019 LSU… sounds about right.

So why couldn’t UGA just do what Vandy did? Or what USF did? Surely it must be that easy, right? I don’t know, but I’m going to bet on Kirby and his staff—who’ve won basically every game they played in for the last four years—that if it were that easy they’d of done it. I think the crux of the problem is that it wasn’t the same Alabama team that showed up on Sept. 28.

By the way, are we sure we know who the best CFB team in the state of Tennessee is this year? Sure, I’m being a bit tongue and cheek, but outside of that punkass onside kick nonsense that the Vols were pulling on a bunch of JV teams in September, what exactly are we supposed to be respecting here about the boys in Orange? A win over those hapless nerds in Norman? Please. I’ve seen their offensive line. I have little doubt that C2C’s very own Nate Marchese could do a better job at left tackle.

Vandy has lost to Georgia State, so there is that, and obviously Tennessee is more talented and a better program overall, but maybe the Vols are just overrated this year? Losing to Arkansas opened my eyes to this notion as there were opportunities galore for the Vols’ offence to win that game and they didn’t do it. Last I heard the offensive system is supposed to be the calling card here, right? FYI, Nico ‘8M’ Iamaleava is averaging just over 16 PPG in four point passing TD formats this season. I never thought I’d say this, Kirby Smart’s QB is actually a better asset in CFF than the Josh Heupel QB1 and has been for the last two seasons.

That brings me to my next point— Vandy’s Sedrick Alexander having his best CFF output of the season vs. ‘Bama has officially convinced me that there is no more perverse and deranged higher power than the CFF gods. They’ve truly brought their ‘A’ game this 2024 CFF campaign as nearly nothing makes sense about it. Of course, as well all know with Vandy’s players, it’s just a matter of slogging through the tough OOC schedule; once SEC play kicks off it’s smooth sailing…

My brain started to hurt from confusion later that evening so I poured the chocolate budino into a large bowl and sprayed it with some whip cream (low fat, but who am I kidding?). The texture of the chocolate mousse was cool and smooth. But not as smooth as Blake Horvath that afternoon as he and his Midshipmen disposed of yet another opponent in a manner that is starting to look routine.

Some (me) are actually calling him the “White Lamar Jackson” due to his play style. I think it’s only a matter of time until it catches on. Lucky for me, I’ve already got the T-Shirts printed and ready to ship…

White Lamar torches the Memphis Tigers on September 21, 2024.

Beyond Horvath, what a surprise Navy has been this year, am I right? And they’re not alone amongst undefeated service academies— Army is also off to a 5-0 start. These two teams will of course collide later in the year, and it could turn out to be one of the more epic showdowns of the 2024 season.

Just imagine if Navy beats Notre Dame, who, combined with Army make up the remaining teams with a pulse on Navy’s schedule. An undefeated Midshipmen program couldn’t possibly be left out of the dance. And how sick would it be to see a first round CFP of Navy vs. (insert some SEC team here). Navy vs. UGA, or vs. Ole Miss, or vs. Alabama would be really fun (for about five or so minutes anyway).

Also, another fun fact, BYU is currently 14th(!!) on the AP Poll. Seriously, go look it up. And that’s without their best player in LJ Martin, who is apparently scheduled to suit up again for the first time since his injury in week two this weekend. BYU’s own beat writers this offseason were pretty gloomy about the team so seeing the ‘Cougs slot in at 14 right now is certainly notable. I’m telling you, this is one strange CFB season.

Oh and remember SMU struggling against Nevada in week zero? They are now 5-1 and ranked 25th on the poll. They better hope they don’t play Miami because that’ll be another loss on their record… the ACC refs will make damn sure of it. Seriously, what the hell is going on with the Hurricanes?? Two weeks in a row now there have been shenanigans via dubious calls altering the results of games they’ve been involved in. Coincidence, or is it time to get the tinfoil hats out?

I think the ACC knows Miami is their best shot for the CFP this year, which is turning out to be a crucial one for the future of several conferences (including the ACC) in CFB. Not to mention that the ACC is currently faced with a situation where its top two programs, Clemson and FSU, are suing to leave. Not ideal, but having multiple programs not named Clemson or FSU get into the CFP would certainly ease some concerns about the future of their conference. ◾

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Poll of the Week

I asked this question a few weeks ago, and I’m interested to see how much the results might change now…

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