Let’s go f**ing hard.
- Han So Hee, Project Y
Would you believe me if I told you that just this past week I was sat not two aisles over from billionaires Gerald Schwartz and Heather Reisman? Yes, it’s true. As some of the regular readers may know, I like to attend the Toronto International Film Festival every year along with my pal Henri.
One of the showings of the festival included a two episode preview of an international TV series from Hungary, which I can only describe as a poor man’s Hungarian Game of Thrones.
As Henri and I waited in line with all the other plebs, he nudged my shoulder and pointed at an elderly but well to-do looking couple being ushered into the theatre by security.
Why such a show was the choice of two business magnates is a mystery that continues to elude me. Perhaps this is a skill acquired over years of experience, perhaps it was just painfully obvious to everyone in the room with a pulse, but within the first five minutes I had determined that this showing was doomed to be a stinker. In fact, even before the series started I had an uneasy feeling watching the director introduce his project on the stage.
At another showing Henri and I had gone to the week before, Motor City, which is an excellent film with less than around 10 lines of dialogue by the way, the director simply showed up for 30 seconds, said a few things and then left the stage. I could tell he was confident about his picture. The other director, on the other hand, almost seemed to be stalling.
It wasn’t until later that night that the humour dawned on me that I was sat in the same room as these two billionaires while we watched several Hungarian actors and actresses pretend to stimulate each other on the big screen. As I said, this production was like a bad version of Game of Thrones, only it veered into the realm of bizarre Hungarian porno at times, which sounds funner than it was.
And speaking of the realm of bizarre things, LSU, Clemson and Georgia’s victories this week fit the category. No Hungarian porno over here, just odd football being played on the field versus presumably overmatched opponents in Louisiana Tech, Troy, and Austin Peay, respectively. I’m going to assume Clemson is still reeling from their early season loss, and that BK and Kirby are keeping the good stuff under wraps for their week three matchups. As always, time will tell.
After the two episodes of Hungarian Game of Thrones ended, the cast and crew came out to the stage (as per usual at this festival), and they fielded questions from the audience. The billionaire couple had already jetted out of the building at this point (and who the hell could blame them). I saw some of the other plebs inline to watch this production, and believe you me, I wouldn’t want to be near these animals if I was rich and famous either. One of these fat fucks couldn’t even be bothered to use his hands to eat the popcorn out of the bag. Unreal.
But perhaps the most alarming component of this entire experience was that I saw Campus2Cantons’ very own CFF analyst Chris Kay in the production, dressed in a cloak and sporting a moustache. Clearly, this is a man of many talents.
I should also mention that Sydney Sweeney and Anya Joy Taylor were spotted prowling around the neighbourhood this past week. The former making an appearance at a near-by bar called Vinny.
By the way, does anybody remember the troll rumours that ISU QB Rocco Becht was dating Sweeney? Production notwithstanding, Becht looked good again this past weekend vs. Iowa. I’m beginning to come around to the idea that ISU may be a CFP team this year representing the B12.
Of course, I missed Sweeney and the after party as I was diligently consuming college football this past Saturday (and I have zero regrets). After missing it the first week, I made sure to get my lazy ass out the door first thing Saturday morning for a bike ride, which unfortunately seems to be something of a bad luck charm as I lost my matchup in the Golden Pig Invitational (albeit to the highest scoring team).
Not least because Dean Connors’ punk ass emerged from the ashes following a J’Marion Burnette injury at Houston, rushing for two scores over his old team in the cross town Houston rivalry.
I had a mind to leave the command center right then and there and take in the sights of the city on that fine September Saturday, but I’m glad I locked back in because some of the late slate games, including UCLA vs. UNLV, turned out to be quite enjoyable.
Now, I’m aware that the population of the group I’m about to describe likely only includes me and Nico Iamaleava’s dad (and perhaps UCLA OC Tino Sunseri) but I remain somewhat optimistic about Nico’s prospects this season. Given that he joined UCLA late in the offseason, I imagine it is a hard thing for a QB to come in and hit the ground running while still learning the system. I feel like I must be going crazy because I really think Nico’s rushing ability is one of the most underrated things in CFB right now. They get New Mexico this week and I think that Nico’s ability will improve as the season goes on.
Coming back to TIFF, while I don’t see myself ever attending a K-POP concert in my life, though things can always change, watching the premier of South Korean film Project Y this past Wednesday night is probably the closest proxy I’ll have to that experience. Sitting there in the third row, watching hoards of fans swarm the stage at the end of the screening with their phones out, I later discovered that one of the actresses has 17(!) million followers on instagram.
I didn’t understand the hoopla at first—I mean, jeez, you’d think that these people just witnessed USF upsetting the Florida Gators or something, the way they mobilized like a pack of crazed dogs.
Anyhoo, have I done enough name dropping yet? Do you think I’m cool? No?! Ok, well whatever. You’re probably double checking the publication name for this article right now wondering whether you’ve accidentally stumbled (subscribed) to some gossipy buzzfeed blog.
You haven’t landed in the wrong place and no, this publication didn’t change its focus over night. To assuage any such fears, here are some interesting stats through two weeks of the season:
Through two games, Temple QB Evan Simon has more touchdown passes (9) than incomplete passes (8). He also leads the nation in pass efficiency (263.3). The next most efficient passer is USC’s Jayden Maiava (262.4).
Army QB Cale Hellums had as many carries (41) as K-State ran play in week two. After his big week two, Hellums now leads the FBS in carries with 49.
ODU QB Colton Joseph is the leading rusher in the FBS among QBs. He's rushed for 228 yards 3 TDs this season averaging 10.4 yards per carry.
While we normally think of early September as a tough time for G5 players in the CFF world, a G5 player currently leads the FBS in passing, rushing, and receiving. In fact, the top two rushers (UTSA Robert Henry & App State Rashod Dubinion) and receivers (UNLV Jaden Bradley & SJSU Danny Scudero) are both G5 players.
Oregon freshman RB Jordon Davison is tied for third in the FBS with three rushing scores, the number three also being tied for the highest total of CFF points fellow Duck Runner Makhi Hughes has scored in a single game so far.
Despite not playing more than a few snaps week one, Wake Forest runner Demond Claiborne is 20th in the FBS for rushing yards and tied for 10th in scoring following a monster performance in week two.
A few other things to keep in mind, 1) I know we are exiting out of OOC play and entering the conference gauntlets, but this twitter account posts the FCS top 25 teams each week, which may be a helpful thing to consult when choosing defences to start in P4/G5 vs. FCS matchups.
2) Given that we have two data points to chew on now, I’m recognizing some patterns that may be of use to the reader. One of those patterns are teams that are very poor against the run. Some early candidates for the Pig Farm of the Year (PFoY) award include Baylor, who have been gashed two weeks in a row on the ground (including by Auburn who decided to just stop throwing passes somewhere in the third quarter), and SMU this past week; Georgia Southern was the launchpad for Ashton Jeanty’s heisman campaign last year and it looks like through two weeks they are picking up right where they left off.
NC State simply could not stop UVA’s J’Mari Taylor so the Cavs fed him until the cows came home; likewise for UVA with NC State’s Hollywood Smothers, and finally, Syracuse, a team that Andrew Minter did a fantastic breakdown on the week prior.
RB Injuries Piling Up
RB is a position that is often particularly afflicted by the injury bug, naturally given the violent nature of their jobs, but this year more than others it seems many of the top guys are going down very early in the season.
We had our annual ACL tear in August to a top three round CFF RB in Quinten Joyner a few weeks ago, then there was Demond Claiborne’s rib injury in the opening game; Jaydn Ott is still recovering from a shoulder injury sustained in fall camp, Bryson Donelson and Yasin Willis were each recipients of violent collisions in week two casting some doubt about their availability for week three, Ole Miss’ Kewan Lacy is currently listed probable but I think that’s just Lane Kiffin trolling; then there’s WVU’s Jaheim White, who looked to be on pace for a career year as Rich Rod’s pig, out of the season. Darius Taylor with a not-so surprising hamstring injury occurred in week two.
I can’t forget about some of the other CFF darlings who’ve caught the bug too in Tulane’s Maurice Turner, who missed week two entirely, Iowa’s Kamari Moutlon, who’s been missing in action since his third carry in week one, which is an almost like for like scenario to Memphis’ Greg D, who left week one after four carries or so.
Kyson Brown… Jam Miller… Dylan Edwards… Tre Wisner… Makhi Hughes (maybe?) the list goes on and on. At this rate, you’ll be rostering the 4th string pig at Delaware before long. And what a sick and perverse world that would be.
One RB who was highly regarded in the preseason and is continuing to go strong this year—showing no signs of slowing down—is UW’s Jonah Coleman. In a game where the Huskies won 70-10, our man took 15 handoffs for over 100 yards and five(!) rushing tuds. This is clearly a staff who have not been paying attention to the happenings around the country. Either that or they’ve been hanging out with PJ Fleck at the cottage up in Minny this summer. I wouldn’t put it past them—they are, after all, in the same conference now.
Ditto for the Nebraska group. I wasn’t 100% sold on Emmett Johnson’s utilization over the final four games last year, but it’s clear that that has bled into 2025, and actually elevated to another level. I have to tip my cap to OC Dana Holgerson. It’s evident to me now that 1) he’s humbled himself since his firing at UH and 2) (more importantly) he’s also been spending time with PJ up by the cabin on Lake Superior.
Speaking of outrageous usage by one sick individual, I can’t overstate how pleased I am that that crazy bastard, Clint Trickett, is back coaching college ball. He’s running Cam Cook into the ground down there in J’Ville, AL, and I love to see it. 29 carries against Liberty this past week, and with the aforementioned Georgia Southern group on deck this weekend, a steady diet from the head chef himself via his favourite Cook seems to be in order.
Now, as some of you may know, I ranked Demond Claiborne as my RB1 this season in my final RB rankings. Injuries are hard to predict but DC bounced back in a big way this past weekend. Indeed, this is shaping up to be a year where several RBs are trending to finish as top 5/10 runners in CFF under multiple staffs with little to no history of massive RB1 usage.
In my limited communications with PJ during the season (obviously he’s busy), I gathered that neither Wake Forest head coach Jake Dickert nor OC Rob Ezell have been extended an invite to the cabin yet, but that they are both on his radar. We’ll see how things progress over the next handful of weeks—one of the early betting favourites for this year’s PFoY award, NC State, is up next.
Anyways, it’s currently 2:13AM as I write this, so I think it’s time to go to sleep. Talk again soon. ◾
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Nearly dropped Donelson this week to grab J’Mari Taylor after it looked like Fresno’s RB room had gone full blown unpredictable RBBC ride-the-hot-hand approach after three weeks of inconsistent volume for him. Encouraged to later see that it was an injury that limited him last week (despite no immediate post game reporting on this that I could find). I canceled the claim before it ran. Added Meadows instead to replace Jaheim White (ugh). Hoping Donelson gets healthy and bounces back against FCS Southern University this weekend (a juicy matchup!), but not starting him until we get better in-week and pregame injury reporting (which may never happen) and/or I see he’s back to full health with a full Volume Pig(tm) workload!