The CFB Degenerate's Newsletter: Week Four

All this ice on me, I look like I'm a star

- Buddah Bands, musician

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Hello pigs, welcome back. I just want to kick things off this week by saying: goddammit, I’m feeling good, and I hope y’all are too. Not least because we have college football back, not to mention the fact that autumn—unanimously thought of as the best season of the year, and I won’t hear otherwise—approaches. But, as alluded to in the past, physically I feel like I have turned a corner.

This is just a PSA to all the readers out there that if you woke up today absent of any major physical illness or injury, be thankful and enjoy it! Get outside and utilize your health while you have it.

And I have something to admit to you all—this week I decided to do something that I’ve never done before (you’ll just have to take my word): I ordered an entire cake for myself.

Yes, it’s true, the order’s already been confirmed and the batter (I assume) is being delicately assembled as we speak. Why? Because why the fuck not I say. Every day is a celebration. I can’t even sleep these days—this past Saturday night, again, your boy didn’t hit the hay until the early hours of the next morning, only to wake around 8:30 again. This is slowly becoming a theme but I simply just don’t have the patience to sleep right now, you feel me?

What’s more, I specifically timed the pickup of this cake on a weekend when my wife will be at her parents' place. And while I did eventually spill the beans to her that I have an entire cake pending pickup Friday afternoon, I specifically put in a custom cake order at the bakery for chocolate icing instead of vanilla. Again, why? Well, because she doesn’t like chocolate, so I figured this would keep her away. I mean, what sort of weirdo doesn’t like chocolate anyway?

Now, let’s get into this thing. This past weekend was one of the best weekends of college football in my recent memory, not least because my Dawgs came out of Neyland stadium with a dub, but more specifically because the game played out exactly as I would have dreamt it.

Having picked up Tennessee WR Chris Brazzell the second in a few leagues—most importantly in my home league “The Golden Pig Invitational”—I had a sense that a 2022 Jalin Hyatt vs. Alabama moment could be coming in this one. The Dawgs defence was lauded by our fanbase, but I simply did not agree based on the sample size that we knew anything definitively about this group.

Likewise, I felt that since most national media types are complete retards, the fact that they unanimously did not believe in Gunner Stockton’s ability as a QB, meant it was probably a good time to buy stock on that front too.

The result was an absolutely orgasmic shootout that covered all of the bases for this fan. I got a big win in the Golden, thanks in some part to Brazzell’s 40+ point performance, and the Dawgs extended the win streak to… nine? Ten? 11? Is anybody even counting anymore? Who cares at this point, the Dawgs own Tennessee and everybody knows it.

Oh, and while we’re on the topic of statistics, here’s a fun fact for you: all three of the nation’s leading receivers play in the SEC: Texas A&M’s Mario Craver, Tennesee’s Chris Brazzell, and Ole Miss’ Harrison Wallace. It’s a sign of the times that all three of these players are transfers (Craver from Mississippi State, Brazzell from Tulane last offseason, and Wallace from PSU). A fourth SEC receiver, Georgia’s Zachariah Branch, leads the nation in yards after catch per reception.

But you’ve likely already heard all about that UGA vs. Tenn game (and the other big games like ND vs. A&M) from other college football media this week, and frankly, I’m bored of talking about it too.

Some things that are more interesting to me this week include:

Has Bill Belichick found his LeGarrette Blount/Rhamondre Stevenson?

I really liked what I saw from UNC this past Saturday with their true freshman Demon June. The first year runner accumulated 167 scrimmage yards, which accounted for over 50 percent of North Carolina's total offensive yards for the game! However, we have to take that data point with a grain of salt given the quality of the opponent (FCS).

On the other hand, I do think that UNC has to be a run-first team given the talent (or lack there of) at QB/WR. This weekend vs. UCF should be a better barometer of A) what the plan will be offensively, and B), how effective they can be if A) turns out to be power run game featuring The Demon.

Belichick didn’t have a lot of work horses in the NFL, but we do know that he loves a thicc back, and the few times that he did have a work horse they were usually bigger backs. Demon is not huge (listed 5’11, 215) but he does look and play big on the field (at least, he did vs. Richmond, we’ll see vs. UCF).

Forget about Jaydn Ott, who the hell is Tory Blaylock

In a similar vein to the above bullet, OU finally found a spark in their run game, well, the traditional run game I should say. Obviously the QB is elite at rushing the football, but you need more than that to win in the SEC and Mateer won’t last long toting the rock 20+ times in that conference.

Insert another true freshman, Tory blaylock, a speedster from the Texas high school football circuit. From a pure CFF perspective, my stance remains that the upside of an OU RB will always be limited with the OC’s track record of RB usage and Mateer’s presence (and thirdly OU’s offensive line but that is still TBD on how good/bad they are).

However, the good thing about a player like Blaylock is that since he’s a home run threat, he doesn’t necessarily need a ton of volume to produce some solid outings. You don’t want to be choosing when to start this guy, in my opinion, but in a bestball scoring format I like his appeal. He has been listed as the RB1 with no “OR” on the depth chart this week vs. Auburn.

A few early casualties sustained—what will the CFF implications be?

UCLA and Virginia Tech were the first two programs to pull the plug this year on their respective head coaches. As a result, the players of each program have the opportunity to enter the transfer portal, and it should also be noted that they can shut down their seasons still and be granted a red shirt. These players cannot play for another team this season, but they can begin the process of finding their next home for Winter 2026.

I mentioned in the Campus2Canton discord this week that I wonder if there will be some puzzling offensive game plans on Saturday if OCs like Oregon’s Will Stein, OU’s Ben Arbuckle, and HC’s like Alex Golesh are interviewing/preparing for their next job? I don’t know if the UCLA opening is all that attractive, but I expect some big names in the G5 and elsewhere to be interested in the Tech vacancy.

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The single most desired thing I want to see happen this CFF season

You all know me—you know my affinity and love for Minnesota head coach PJ Fleck. You know that he and I correspond via written letter frequently, and occasionally through MORSE code when we suspect our enemies (e.g., Jim Harbaugh, Connor Stalions…) are spying on our conversations.

I visit his cottage on Lake Superior every summer to pick his brain, and have yet to leave the premises of his cabin without feeling maniacally inspired. It starts in his living room; on his mantle lies the coveted Floyd of Rosedale trophy from the 2023 season; a banner hangs below it that reads “fead the pig”.

We fly-fish dockside when he shows me his 100% ownership rate of Darius Taylor on Fantrax, “I’m gonna give him 30 carries in the opener against UB” he says to me with a perverted smile perched on his face.

I nod back at him with a look of reverence, “nice” and take a deep sip of my hot cocoa. The hot cocoa is velvety, smooth, and tastes delightful. Its the special Ski-U-Mah recipe that PJ likes so much. It has subtle hints of cinnamon in it that make all the difference on a cool, late summer evening.

Unfortunately, his lead pig succumbed to yet another soft tissue injury recently (week two vs. NWST). However, those of you who are diligent readers of the VP newsletter will recognize the name Fame Ijeboi. I said it in July and I’ll say it again now: I like the cut of his jib. He now wears the #7 and he looks mighty fine in that Gophers uni toting the rock. He’s big and strong. He has not demonstrated a lot of wiggle thus far in his limited workload, but he does get North-South pretty fast, which I do like.

I suppose another unfortunate nugget is that the Gophers OL is not as good as in years past. Specifically, the right side of the line struggled vs. Cal, but hopefully this can be an area of improvement post-BYE week.

Full transparency here: I still haven’t recovered from Mo Ibrahim’s achilles injury in week one of the 2021 season, and I remind PJ of this every time I see him. I remain convinced that that would have been one of the greatest single CFF seasons we’ve ever witnessed from a RB. The Gophers OL was monstrous, with multiple future NFL guys, specifically at Tackle and Center, and Mo was an absolute sledgehammer.

I’ve secretly yearned for something similar to manifest within the Minnesota program ever since. And don’t get me wrong, I love Darius Taylor, he’s obviously better as a total package than Ijeboi, but there is something to like about a big, powerful back running PJ’s scheme that has activated something within the loins of this writer.

The good news—that scenario might be exactly what we’re in for over the next handful of weeks while Taylor recovers from his hamstring tweak. Ijeboi toted the rock 16 times vs. Cal and looked superior (hashtag no lake cabin) to his primary competitor for carries, Cam Davis.

CONTEXT: Ijeboi averaged 5.3 YPC on his 16 totes, while Mr. Davis averaged 2.9, yet he scored the TD. In PJ’s defence, Ijeboi was given first crack at scoring that TD and came within an inch. Had he been the one to score, he’s probably a hot name on the wire this week

Full disclosure, and I hope you don’t get angry with me, I intentionally left Ijeboi off the waiver wire article this week because I wasn’t sure how things would play out in the Golden when waivers ran, and I know for a fact many of my competitors consumer this content, so I felt it necessary to keep him on the DL.

But now that things have finalized in that league, and Ijeboi has been acquired, take this as a heads up to see if you have space to holster Ijeboi, and let’s see what happens when they come back from the BYE. The thought is dawning on me that this year could play out similarly to Taylor’s 2023 season with regards to his availability.

By the way, when I wrote the below article in late June featuring Ijeboi, my left leg was literally on fire all day for several weeks (sciatic nerve pain).

I wrote that article and many others through the sensation, so if you’re reading this go ahead and toss your boy a like on that article, or this one… or not, it doesn’t matter, either way I’ve got a whole cake on the way 🤤 and I am celebrating.

The reason there’s a TC quote from the movie Magnolia is because I was basically sat at home all day, and I decided to occupy my time going through Cruise’s 90s catalogue; you know, back when he used to take on more experimental roles. Alarming, I know, but I had never seen Vanilla Sky or Magnolia prior to then. I enjoyed both.

The MAC is back in FULL FORCE?!

Don’t look now, but it appears that there is a solid group of MAC RBs forming this season. Ball State’s Qua Ashley seems to be emerging as a focal point of the offence for the Cards, as is Sean Patrick for Akron. Obviously, we already knew about the Bang Man at Ohio, Buckley’s medicine at WMU, Al Jay Henderson at UB, Telly J at NIU, and there was optimism about Chip Trayanum at Toledo, but that’s a nice tandem emerging behind them potentially supplementing the MAC’s RB group for 2025.

In the day and age of the transfer portal, it’s important to recognize that Ohio, WMU, UB and NIU were each able to retain their stud RBs. That’s a good thing in my opinion. We need more of that in college football.

Unfortunately for the moron who wrote this article (below), it doesn’t look like there will be any value in that UMass RB room 🥴:

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Speaking of things that I was wrong about this offseason (obviously there’s too many in the ‘right’ category to cover individually *wink*), let’s go over some things that I got wrong at the RB position.

Where VP was WRONG:

• Michigan’s Justice Haynes is definitely the unquestioned RB1: Look, in my defence, the coaching staff were adamant all offseason that Haynes and Marshall were co-starters as RB1A/B. So, I was just keeping it simple and taking them at their word (silly me). In Michigan’s only real game so far, against OU, Haynes out-carried Marshall 19 to nine, and it has to be said, he just looks a lot better toting the rock. I had Haynes around RB30 in my rankings.

• Jonah Coleman, Emmett Johnson, Ahmad Hardy: While I had Jonah Coleman rated in the top 12ish range, Emmett Johnson and Ahmad Hardy in the mid-20s range, I had significant concerns about the volume they’d receive this year as explained in their individual blurbs. These three have been some of the most voluminous RBs thus far in the season.

• Makhi Hughes: While I think the blurb describes my feels pretty accurately on Hughes this offseason, I succumbed to the peer pressure and ultimately still had him rated top 15. Should have trusted myself more and rated him where I wanted to.

  

• Wayshawn Parker: I got caught drinking the Koolaid and committed a cardinal sin in this game, and that was assuming I knew more than I did about the Utah RB situation. In no way was it ever confirmed that Parker was the starter for the Utes, and yet I allowed myself to buy into the hype and ranked him like he would be. Turns out he’s trapped in committee city, and despite what a few delusional Utes fans on X would say, I don’t think Whittingham is just ‘saving’ him for conference play. I guess we’ll find out this weekend but Parker at #10 in my RB rankings looks to have been a huge BUST.

• A dubious fade?

  • Jeremiyah Love is still TBD in my opinion, but I really liked the usage he got in ND’s last game vs. A&M. Unfortunately, as suspected, the other RB is also heavily involved and absorbing some of the rushing TDs that Riley Leonard left behind, but I’m seeing positive updates suggesting Love could see more volume down the line. As those of you who read my rankings know, my fade on Love was more about standard formats where you have to choose to start him. If the volume levels out consistently week to week, then he can be a very good CFF asset.

  • Dean Conners was originally a top 15 player in my rankings, then I put him in the watchlist category for the latest Q3 update. I admit I got spooked by some signs pointing to a split in the backfield, and it’s possible those concerns were founded when looking at Houston’s first game. Fortunately for Connors shareholders, his primary competitor for touches, J’Marion Burnett, went down with injury in week one. Would he end up being a workhorse anyway? I guess we’ll never know…

  • Seth McGowan… Yep, picked the wrong UK back. Head was in the right place just chose the wrong player. The track record of G5→P4 RBs resulted in me not taking McGowan very seriously which turned out to be a mistake, not just in that he’d split carries with Dowdell (way more than expected), but that he’s actually finishing games with more carries. It should be noted that Dowdell fell to an injury in the last game vs. EMU, but is expected to return to action relatively quickly.

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One last thing I’m looking forward to…

USF QB Byrum Brown finally made it through the gauntlet that was the Bulls’ opening season slate including Boise State, Florida, and Miami. The biggest thing for me with Brown—being a run-heavy QB—was getting out of there relatively healthy.

This week they get an FCS opponent; who may normally not require a full throttling, but given the beating the Bulls took from Miami the week prior, and the expanded playoff and all, USF may opt to unveil a truly unholy ass kicking circa 2022 TCU vs UGA on South Carolina State this weekend.

To all the Brown shareholders who’ve held on to this point, rejoice! Only this game and a BYE week separates us from the hallowed American conference slate. Fingers crossed that Golesh tells Tech thanks, but no thanks, and keeps it pushing in Tampa; because things could get wild for USF’s offence over the next 10-12 weeks with maximum potential Brown back in the fold.

He looks a lot more confident again this year, and I have to say, I really appreciate that the man is ICED out every game.◾

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