The CFB Degenerate's Newsletter: What We Learned in Week Zero
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The hands can't hit what the eyes can't see.
- Muhammed Ali, boxer
Hello pigs, welcome back to the weekly recap series. First things first, TGIF (Thank God It’s Football season), am I right? We were fortunate this year with one of the better week zero slates that I can recall, headlined by FSU vs. Georgia Tech in Ireland, the Mecca of CFB.
Those of you on social media may have seen a clip or two from the goat, Nick Saban, circulating after the game where he uttered some version of “GT is going to surprise people this year”. Unsurprisingly, he might be right (he is the messiah after all).
Obviously, Saban, being a degenerate CFB enjoyer, is a subscriber to VP and read this article back in May, so he wasn’t caught off guard by Saturday’s outcome.
However, it appears that he was in the minority of CFB enjoyers. GT’s big win was branded as a ‘huge upset’ by most national media types… though I don’t know that I agree. I don’t think anyone who is serious about CFB bought FSU as an improved team this year, certainly not on DL after losing two high round draft picks. This is a program that is more akin to 2022 TCU catching lightning in a bottle with a senior laden roster than it is to UGA or Alabama, who reload year-after-year.
Overall, from a CFF perspective FSU looked anemic at every level. Subpar QB play limits the ceiling on an already mediocre WR room, and even the TE, Kyle Morlock, who I was hoping would step into a bigger role, did not do that. The RBs, as always, were a committee approach and that’ll probably be the case for the season.
It’s only one game, so it’s best not to overreact, and we should keep one thing in mind: CFB is dynamic and teams (as well as players) can improve dramatically as the season goes on. How many of you out there remember how Alabama looked early last year with Jalen Milroe? Or how about how Stetson Bennett’s career played out at UGA? The sport of CFB is no stranger to observing drastic transformations in short periods of time, however with DJU I fear that we are at the point of his limitations as a football player.
He’s been a starting QB for a long time now, with three different systems under three different programs. He was the guy who broke the chain of legendary QB development at Clemson under Dabo. Former QB Jonathan Smith tried his best to unlock DJ’s mystical upside at Oregon State, and produced basically the same output from a CFF perspective. At FSU, it appears that he will be a solid floor guy (15PPG), but whatever upside CFF diehards once hoped for from the former five star superstar is probably not going to materialize in our lifetimes.
On the other hand, I was pleasantly surprised by two Mountain West teams on Saturday not named Hawaii.
The Bronco Mendenhall era kicks off for the Lobos
QB Devon Dampier Looked Good: Dampier did not disappoint the small group of Mendenhall devotees who’ve been hoarding shares of the second year player in CFF bestball drafts this offseason. He scored once in the air and on the ground, finishing with a total score of about 20 points in four point passing TD formats. Puzzlingly though, he only rushed three times, which is an oddity for a Mendenhall QB. It just so happens that one of those carries was taken 24 yards to the house. How comparable is Montana State’s defence to the average MWC program? Probably not that far off. If Mendenhall and co. decide to unleash Dampier in the run game, things could get interesting in conference play. The Lobos players will be unfortunately un-usable for the foreseeable future with a game vs. Arizona, then a BYE, then a game vs. Auburn coming up next.
New Mexico Skill Players Show Signs of Life: Luke Wysong led the Lobos in receiving with six catches for 95 yards on seven targets. The TE, Trace Buckler cashed in a nice day with four receptions for 34 yards and a score. The one that was most surprising to me, however, was the RB Eli Sanders dominating the carry share. Mendenhall typically has relied on a committee approach at RB, so this is a notable stat to keep tabs on. If it becomes a trend, Sanders might be someone worth taking a shot on. I’m not sold on any of the skill players yet, but these guys are worth an inclusion on your watchlist. I wouldn’t rush to the wire on any of them this week, because you’ll be holding the bag for the next three weeks on each, and you’ll probably end up dropping them in the meantime anyways. We’ll check back in late September.
Nevada’s not so bad after all?
It was a nerve-racking game for Pony as they narrowly avoided embarrassment. SMU, a program that recently announced it had broken its season ticket sales record ahead of the ACC move during the spring, is not off to a great start as they embark on their first P4 campaign. I preached caution on Preston Stone this offseason due to the increase in competition. I wasn’t expecting that even Nevada would give them a run for their money, or that he might not even keep his job by October.
QB Brenden Lewis a pleasant surprise — Like the Lobos, Nevada ultimately fell short in their contest, but they showed enough promise on offence to warrant my attention. Chief among the notable performances was QB Brenden Lewis, who carried the ball 18(!) times for 77 yards. If he’s going to continue to be given the freedom to do that, he’s going to have some big games in conference play. Lewis threw two TDs vs. what will probably be one of the better—if not the best—defence they’ll see all season, suggesting that he may be able to support a WR in CFF.
Who is WR Cortez Braham? — On that note, Lewis’ favourite target on Saturday night was former WVU Mountaineer Cortez Braham, who caught four passes on seven targets for 66 yards and a score. This is probably a good time to remind the reader of one Jamaal Bell, who caught eight passes for 121 yards and a score vs. USC to open the season last year. That is to say, Braham is intriguing, but I’d proceed with caution if you’re running to the wire this week to acquire his services.
Top TE in CFF? — SMU TE RJ Maryland had a big game leading SMU in receiving with eight receptions for 162 yards and a score. The yardage is what stands out to me there. We knew Maryland would be a good TE in CFF this year, but he may be even better than advertised if the SMU WR room remains lacklustre (which is what appeared to be the case on Saturday). One thing to note is that there is apparently an ongoing QB battle currently, so keep that in mind going forward. Unfortunately for Maryland shareholders, this week zero performance doesn’t count. They’ll be hoping this wasn’t his season-high for the year.
Hawaii’s Run-N-Shoot was disappointing
Now, onto the redheaded step child of Saturday’s MWC performances. Some of you may look at the final stat line of QB Brayden Schager and say something along the lines of “VP, what are you on about, his performance wasn’t that bad”. Well, you ungrateful fucks, I actually stayed up past midnight to watch this shit show (well, the first half at least) and I can tell you that Schager’s passing remains mediocre at best. Again, there will be a litany of excuses for Hawaii’s passing woes regarding the ‘heavy winds’ etc. etc.
But, we’ve seen Schager now over multiple seasons. Similar to DJU, I’m at the point where I think it’s time to just accept what we see in front of us. This is probably as good as it’s going to get, and Schager’s passing deficiencies are holding back the potential of this offence.
Some good news is that if you’re in a league where Landon Sims has TE eligibility, he looks to be the RB1 of this offence and I’d say he’s actually worth a shot on the wire this week.
As expected, WR Pofele Ashlock was swagged out of his mind. Not only was he sporting a sick-ass visor, he made a myriad of incredible catches, including an adjustment to an errant throw that he caught on the one yard line that should have been a score. He’s still going to have a good season.
My disappointment was that there wasn’t a clear cut #2 who stepped up in Steven McBride’s absence. Florida boy Alex Perry was second in snaps behind Ashlock, but Dekel Crowdus was second in receiving yards with three catches for 49 yards and a score. Tamatoa Makiao-Atimalala got 5 targets on 12 snaps and managed to drop 2 of them. Oh, and Tylan Hines scored a TD!!… on special teams.
Till next week, pigs. See you again soon. ◾
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